Let's face it – you're reading this blog for a reason, that reason most likely being that you saw the title and thought to yourself “Hey, I AM a piece of bubbling, rancid shit in society's punch bowl who couldn't be liked by anyone other than my socially inept pet who doesn't know any better if there was an eclair and a Coors Light at the conclusion of the effort! I wonder what wisdom this man, who is clearly far superior to me in every way humanly possible has to offer me regarding this affliction I seem to have been suffering from ever since the day I crawled out of my poor mother's cavernous snatch.”
Well, its your lucky day you worthless Ziplock bag of rat semen, for I have seen it fit to waste my valuable time writing this piece of shit for mongoloids like yourself who just can't seem to find the energy to propel their massive beast-like asses off the now permanently indented couch and do something for their own benefit and for the benefit of society at large.
Why, you may be asking yourself, has this god among men decided to bless us filthy, unwashed masses with his jewels of insight? The reason for that is simple: I have grown immeasurably weary of seeing you sloth-like dull witted masses of alleged humanity slither your ways through this one life we get, thinking only of where your next immensely proportioned meal is coming from and where to acquire the most money with the least effort to afford the calories provided by said meal which, and I have no idea how, still fail to give you biological trash disposals the energy necessary to do anything besides being immobile for prolonged periods of time previously thought only hypothetical by quantum physicists.
No, this is not a blog about working out, nor am I trying to motivate you to get in shape or think positively or whatever other bullshit the bullshit peddlers have been peddling. I am simply trying to make you realize that you are a worthless scumfuck with little to no ultimate potential in life who can either take my advice and stop being a worthless scumfuck or build yourself a space shuttle made entirely out of dicks and fly the good ship SS Cocksucker directly into Dick Planet where you can spend the rest of your life sucking every dick that Dick Planet is composed of and be as content, if not more so, as you would have been on planet Earth doing much the same thing when your welfare ran out.
I would like to dedicate this blog to absolutely no one. It was an effort made entirely by me and anyone who says any different is a lying pile of trailer park grade NASCAR party vomit who should be beaten to death with dismembered elephant cocks, liquefied in a giant blender and force fed to their own mothers until they burst in a confetti of flesh, shit and blood. Then set fire to the whole mess and forget it ever happened. I would like to thank my inflated sense of self worth for giving me the wherewithal to look upon the meat sacs that infect this planet with their perpetual case of stupid and get so tired of sneering that I actually had to write a blog. And finally, I would like to make it known that as you read this, it is entirely possible that at this very moment I am fantasizing about slapping you clear across the face with a sun dried square of thick leather until something clicks in your brain, you come to an epiphany of some sort and quit being a vapid cunt fit for only for shredding and being used as mulch for my front yard or until your eyes come out of their sockets. Whichever comes first. I'm betting on the latter.
Now quit being a bitch and wait for the next post.
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