You know what? I was going to give you scum piles some advice on avoiding and overcoming sickness, but fuck that, you know why? Because I would much rather get back to the roots of this blog and why I started it in the first place – because all of you are an infection upon this world and need to be told so. So today, instead of an advice update, I will do one discussing the reasons why you're a piece of shit. You may be reading this thinking “lol he's gonna talk about some scumbags who aren't me and I'm gonna get a laugh” to which I say THAT MEANS YOU AS WELL, you ungodly mountain of ass. To quote the good Dr. Cox “yes you, forever you, a thousand times you.”
The fact that you continue to live and breathe is an insult to the very fabric of existence. I have not the slightest idea why your two idiot parents decided to conceive you, but it is a decision that they and the rest of the world have regretted ever since the fateful day you slithered out of your mother's snatch, much to the astonishment of the delivery room doctor, who has never before in his medical career seen a baby born with such disfigurements as you and live. Your life is worth less than a broke dick dog's post-coitus cock drippings, you gushing geyser of diarrhea and fail.
If you for one second even begin to believe that there is a chance in the deepest shit encrusted bowels of hell that you will ever, EVER, be allowed to look at a member of the opposite sex and so much as wink at them without the townsfolk stoning you to death with rocks wrapped in dismembered foreskin for said offense, then let me burst that fucking bubble for you real quick. The chances of you passing on your genes to a willing partner are so astronomical that there is a better chance of Martin Lawrence ever making a good movie that he wrote, directed and starred in. You might as well castrate yourself now and spare the world the horror of your offspring on the off chance that you jerk off in a napkin and somewhere down the line a homeless woman takes it out of the garbage and uses is as a tampon, because that is the only way you will ever propagate.
There is no conceivable reason for your continued existence other than boosting the ratings of mediocre, repetitive television programming which serves only to show the worst in humankind and dumb you imbeciles down even further. Without you we might actually have something educational on network TV, but there is no reason for them to change the programming format because you monkey fucks keep watching to see which generic church singer is going to get a shitty recording contract this year. You see people dancing and singing in front of judges as entertainment, you consider 3 And A Half Men so hilarious that the drug addled mentally challenged dipshit known as Charlie Sheen makes two million per episode, and you view Fox News as a reliable news source. Rid the world of yourself and improve it vastly, you piss brained dick fuckers.
There are over 6 billion people in this world and the vast majority of them are starving while you ignorant cunts stuff your ape-like faces with only the greasiest meat bi-products known to meat bi-product manufacturers. Imagine a shit mountain representing the world. Now imagine the topmost coiled dog turd; that's you. You are the topmost turd, but hey, at least you're on top, right? I hope every day that a disgruntled postman walks straight into your house at 4 in the afternoon, ties you to a radiator and proceeds to pillage your mother's asshole with a rusty pipe as you watch on with that ubiquitous spoon of lard sticking out of your mouth, you completely unwarranted insult to humanity.
Fuck you, fuck your family, fuck anyone who looks like you, fuck anybody who likes you, fuck your dog, fuck your couch, fuck your hair, fuck that stupid little thing you do (you know the one), fuck your job, fuck your friends, fuck your shoes, fuck your preferred mode of transportation, fuck your dumb ass dentist, fuck your favorite musician, fuck your door mat, and finally and most of all, fuck your fucking face you fat fucking fucktarded fuckhole. You are the sole reason why this world should be destroyed by a million angry ferrets hell-bent on reclaiming that which was once theirs.
That was nice. I think I'll do it again sometime. Check back tomorrow, when I write a buncha stuff about a buncha other stuff!
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